Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
