then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize