with your own penis?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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