Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery