I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
