Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
