eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I intend to get homeless drunk
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
did i just pee glitter
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
