My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize