someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
