you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
