To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize