I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just invented taco cereal.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize