this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
