Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.

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  (845): just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever. http://tfl.nu/d1ay
  Replies (21) Good night (8659) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.

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  (585): Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/h1yk
  Replies (8) Good night (2913) Bad night (1481) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

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  (608): This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night. http://tfl.nu/r58q
  Replies (12) Good night (8844) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met

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  (716): She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met http://tfl.nu/xjfv
  Replies (10) Good night (707) Bad night (4560) Order T-Shirt
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  (+43): View more from

  After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.

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  (+43): After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order. http://tfl.nu/2l9g
  Replies (14) Good night (3780) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.

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  (404): I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit. http://tfl.nu/bfom
  Replies (5) Good night (1231) Bad night (2851) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.

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  (859): I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt. http://tfl.nu/2lr3
  Replies (15) Good night (3437) Bad night (1570) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.

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  (843): I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship. http://tfl.nu/ax7l
  Replies (33) Good night (1406) Bad night (2900) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level

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  (780): they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level http://tfl.nu/15nb
  Replies (19) Good night (1505) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree

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  (401): i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree http://tfl.nu/su4s
  Replies (3) Good night (1878) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together

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  (306): We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together http://tfl.nu/varl
  Replies (3) Good night (1358) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.

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  (978): If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again. http://tfl.nu/fk6d
  Replies (13) Good night (746) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I will give you all my nachos to make this happen

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  (480): I will give you all my nachos to make this happen http://tfl.nu/ghnu
  Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.

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  (239): I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/tffx
  Replies (5) Good night (400) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.

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  (713): Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you. http://tfl.nu/5z0x
  Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt

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