thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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