Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again