My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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