stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
