I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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