hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
