Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
