I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize