I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
