I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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