She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
