My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize