There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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