don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
