The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
