Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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