i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
All the doctor said was why
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize