So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
