I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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