he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize