Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
