When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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