guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
