he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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