I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
