So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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