Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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