I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
