You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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