i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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