I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize