I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
