Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
