i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
