apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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