the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My breasts were aching with rage.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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