My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
