Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
