i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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