Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
