Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
