And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
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