Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
