i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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