Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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