Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Every concussion has its silver lining
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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