I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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