She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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