enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
