Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
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Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
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I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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