drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
