Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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