Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
