She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
